Talking About Tough Topics with Your Kids
It’s safe to say that the world has changed a lot in the last two years, and many parents are feeling lost about how and when to have tough or uncomfortable conversations with their kiddos about the issues facing families and the world. Tara Miko Ballentine founded Bright Littles, a brand on a mission to empower parents to sit down with their children and discuss the topics that matter most to them through conversations. Bright Littles then launched Convo Cards; 100 question cards and 25 activity cards for kids ages 4 and up across the 5 topics of diversity, health, safety, nature, and self.
I was immediately moved by the Bright Littles mission and the cards when I first heard of Bright Littles, and of course, I wanted to know more about Tara and what led her to launch such a unique and empowering product for families.
I sat down with Tara (via Zoom) this month and immediately was amazed by her warmth, confidence, and no-BS personality. We were talking like old friends in no time, and I couldn’t get enough! Here’s Tara’s story:
Can you tell me more about your background and how you decided to launch Bright Littles?
Well, I had a baby at 40, and I had already established my career, so very quickly, a seed was planted in my mind that just because you have a baby doesn’t mean you don’t want to, or shouldn’t want to work.
But although I was committed to pursuing my professional career as a mom, it was still hard to find a job after having a baby.
I eventually found my fit in hospitality marketing, then the pandemic hit, and I lost a lot of clients during that time.
In the depths of schooling at home, I realized I needed to talk to my daughter more about challenging issues. She was asking questions about everything from what would happen with the pandemic to gender and equality.
I was struggling to find the right words or moments to talk about these topics, so I started looking around for a product that might help me support my child and provide insight into discussing these world issues as a family. I literally couldn’t find a product that felt useful, so I started creating sticky notes to discuss topics coming up in our conversations. And that is how Bright littles was born!
The creativity and development of the convo-cards was the silver lining of the pandemic for me.
What do people find the most surprising about you when they get to know you?
I am part Japanese and have always had a solid cultural and powerful feminine presence in my life through my mother and Obachan, my mom’s mother, and grandma.
I have had an interesting life and have lived in many different places since I was a girl. We moved 20 different times as a kid because of my mom’s love of travel and art career. I had to learn to adapt because I was constantly the new kid at school, and it was always hard to get in with the cool kids, so there were times I fell into the wrong crowd.
The life I led as a child helped me grow into a strong and resilient woman and taught me early on that life will throw a lot of stuff your way, but if you can adapt and take it as it comes, you’ll have a more effortless and happier life in the long run.
What those close to me learn as they get to know me is that I am resilient, I am passionate about helping others, and my background is the backbone of my strength and empathy as a woman and mother.
What have been some of the most significant life-changing experiences for you so far?
There have been a couple of significant chapters in my life series so far, and all of them include places I’ve lived.
Santa Fe, New Mexico, was the pivot point for me as a girl. I have such strong, rooted, and natural memories of Santa Fe. And because of my mother’s art and cultural connection, I learned a lot about Native American culture, art, and daily life while living in Santa Fe. Through my experience there, I grew a respect for the people of this land.
Santa Fe was a place and point that I learned for the first time, but not the last, that not everything you read and learn in school is what happened. Our history in the United States is riddled with half-truths, and you often have to dig to find the real story. I developed an advocate instinct during that time that has stuck with me to this day.
In my early 20s, I moved to San Miguel de Allende, a small town outside of Mexico City, I took a job at my mom and stepdad’s art gallery, and my job was to tell stories of folk artists selling their art in the gallery.
Worked to help represent the artists alongside their work. That time gave me the unique opportunity to tell the stories of not just the art but also the artists. That curiosity and passion for supporting artists have stayed with me throughout my life, and I’m now a board member of the Creative Action in Austin.
What was your biggest learning so far about how Bright Littles can help with these conversations about health, diversity, body, etc.?
The biggest thing I hear from the customers is that they are surprised to discover how much their kids already know about the topics we discuss on the convo cards.
I repeatedly hear things like, “Wow! I really need to step up my communication.”
It’s much different today because kids have technology at their fingertips. What I’m seeing is a greater need to teach your kids resilience. I can’t imagine growing up with social media and having that magnifying glass that be part of it. That’s why it’s so important to have the tough conversations earlier and more honestly now. This communication style helps kids see the depth they can have within them and work through their questions with a parent or caregiver instead of doing it independently.
I was amazed at my daughter’s heartfelt and strong reaction to some of the issues we started discussing, like gender norms and body safety. She was adamant that everyone deserves to be happy and that she believes in letting love be love.
This communication with our bright littles opens doors to create open communication and a safe space to talk about complex issues. The conversation can then go in different directions; it can uncover grief, confusion, and more. The cards naturally combat silence and the aloneness a child can feel if they are struggling with trauma or a complicated issue.
Our kids are ready, and they are filling in the blanks without our input. The topics are out there, and they are going to find answers somewhere.
How do you make time to take care of yourself?
I don’t believe in the mainstream belief that “balance is key.” For me and the majority of working moms I know, integration is the most important component of mental and physical well-being as a parent.
When you strive for balance, something is constantly losing. And that loss creates unnecessary stress and disappointment. Striving for integration as a parent, instead of balance, provides room for asymmetry, flexibility, and acceptance instead of perfection.
I prioritize and integrate caretaking in the following order:
Self - If I don’t take care of myself first, everything and everyone suffers. If I haven’t filled my cup, it’s challenging to serve others. So I find time for exercise, movement, and reading or listening to books and podcasts. These fill me up and help me be the mother, wife, and entrepreneur I want to be.
Marriage - My marriage and the wellness of that relationship affect our daughter and our happiness as a family.
My Daughter - She is bright and witty and needs our love. And her world is filled with joy that we can give because we also take care of ourselves as parents.
What have you learned to change or adjust to since having children?
Asking for help has always been hard for me. I was raised to think that asking for help was a weakness, and I had to get over that when I became a mom.
Having a child builds up your soul, confidence, and fulfillment in so many ways and can break you down, especially if you don’t ask for help.
One way that I have found support and the help I need as a full-time entrepreneur with two businesses is hiring an au pair to be with our daughter when we’re working.
Every family’s situation is different, but at the end of the day, I think It’s about finding places to bring in and accept help so that you can maintain your wellbeing and your children get all they need.
I have a joke at the office that you need to “put aces in their places.”
And if you can create the village effect for your family, whether it be with preschool, daycare, the support of a friend or grandparent, your family will be much happier and able to adapt.
What have the Bright Littles cards taught you about having difficult conversations with adults?
Not everyone is ready to start the journey of having difficult conversations, with or without kids. That doesn’t scare me, and truthfully, the cards are not for everyone or every family. But the truth is, most kids are ready, even if you’re not there yet. But I think we can all agree that each generation, we hope, does better than the last.
And for us, adults and parents looking to learn and change things for the better, Bright Littles was created for our children and us.
I believe that right now is a pivotal point in our world and country’s evolution, and we have to honestly look at where we can do better as people, parents, and society.
Are there any books, podcasts, or musical artists that you love right now?
The Invisible Life Addie LaRue is the best book I’ve read recently.
My favorite book of all time is The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.
How I Built This with Guy Raz Is by far my favorite podcast. It’s inspiring, and I love learning about how things work.
Is there anything else you want to share with our readers?
Yes! I’m excited to share that Bright Littles now offers a Free SMS platform. The texts can help prompt parents on specific topics or help with something that’s happened, like a death in the family.
Also, stay tuned because we’ll soon be launching our 1st book! The Bright Littles Convo Journals are fill-in-the-blank, interactive, activity books based on your family! The first book focuses on safety in the home and helps families talk about and be ready for an emergency.
You can learn more about Tara and Bright Littles on their website or follow along on Instagram or Facebook.
